(hard cover, 322 pages)

In the midst of the Peloponnesian War against Sparta, civil war threatens to break out in Athens between the elites and the deplorables.  Though Cleon is the demagogic leader of the deplorables, all is not well with him:  his businesses are all going broke.  Cleon decides to run for office, colluding with the Great King of Persia, Athens’ arch-enemy, to get elected.

Things are no better for his former nemesis, the comic dramatist Aristophanes, whose last three plays have been failures.  He gives up the theater and joins the navy.

But a coterie of anti-Cleonists tries to convince Aristophanes to wield his pen once more and rally the citizens against the incipient tyrant:

  • Socrates the philosopher
  • Lysistrata, a courtesan and Cleon’s former mistress
  • Thalia, a mysterious young widow from Phocis who always seems to know what others don’t

Find out whether Aristophanes returns to the theater and finds success, riches, and love; and whether Cleon recoups his fortune via his secret plan to drain Athens’ sacred Dionysian Marsh.

(hard cover, 336 pages)

Nothing’s going to stop midfielder Jack Gaffney from leading State College to the NCAA lacrosse championship, graduating from college, and winning the girl of his dreams—nothing, except possibly

  • Assistant coach Big Sir, who longs to kick his ass off the team
  • Psychopathic defenseman Cy Bishop
  • Team captain and Adonis John Vavolano, class president and 3-time All-American
  • Fugitive Black Panther Bobby Coolidge
  • Smirking English prof Dr. Harlem Smith, who misses no opportunity to stick it to the young
  • College president C. Barton Fisk, who longs for a ticket out of backwoods State College
  • Riley Freimann, a sharp-witted prankster and underachiever appointed Jack’s roommate under mysterious circumstances

And of course, the women in Jack’s life:

  • Babbling Brooke, a cheerleader whose attainments plateaued with tying her own shoelaces
  • Little Miss Kneesocks, cat burglar and agent provocateur for the local Optimists Club
  • Tokyo Roz, Viet Cong wannabee
  • Axis Sally—intellectual, supermodel, terrorist
  • Adelle Chardonnay, stunning freshman inexplicably attracted to Jack

This novel contains strong language, adult situations, and drug use and is not intended for those under 17.

(hard cover, 308 pages)

“A neurochemical romantic comedy”

At State University, the philosophy department and neurology department are at each other’s throats like the Capulets and Montagues, each propounding its own theory to explain the existence of the human soul.  Into the fray are cast a pair of star-crossed lovers:

  • The devastatingly handsome philosophy professor Ford Phelan, who is trying to get hired as a philosophy of consciousness professor
  • The brilliant but average-looking neurochemist Dr. Emmilene Suggs, who is seeking the scientific basis of human consciousness

Alas, the course of true love never did run smooth.  While Ford is trying to coax the virginal Emmilene into the sack, she is using her knowledge of biochemistry to make him fall in love with her.  Will the male imperative or the female win out?

All the while, Ford’s philosophy peers will stop at nothing in order to squelch Emmilene’s research.  With State University hosting the world-renowned Philosophy of Mind Symposium, which side will emerge triumphant?